Sillmanite Inspiration

Hello all! I hope everyone is having a good week. As I sat trying to write the next post for this week. I kinda hit a wall. So I did what I always do and researched what I was stuck on. As I researched ideas for writing a blog when you’re stuck. I came across the idea of sharing something personal or embarrassing or the inspiration for a story. Since I’m going back to Sillmanite and editing it. I was thinking about the inspiration for the story, which is kind of an embarrassing story. But it would make for a good blog post. 

Before I tell this story, there are a few things you should know about me:

1. I’m extremely shy and reserved. Although that doesn’t seem to impede my ability to blog post.
2. I grew up a Girl Scout and absolutely love the organization. For that very reason, I was a camp counselor for a few years.
3. I’ve had random ideas for stories my whole life, and I’d often record them but never shared them with anyone. 

With that picture in mind, imagine an eighteen-year-old girl in the 2010s. Short, shy, quiet, but loves the outdoors being outside, and you have me when the inspiration for Sillmanite struck. It was my second summer as a camp counselor on a lake about an hour or two away from my hometown. I had settled into a degree plan with a state university to begin in the fall. I would pursue geology. After all, I loved geography, rocks, and mapping. Even history and what better way than to study the history of the earth. 

Freshly graduated with all the hope of life and exploring opportunities lay before me. Of course, studying geology and potentially becoming a researcher were the goals and opportunities I shared with others. However, I never shared my dream of writing a novel. Frankly, I didn’t believe I could do it. 

The opportunities and goals all began with being a camp counselor. I love Girl Scout camp. We sang songs; spent time outdoors. The days were spent on the lake, on the ropes course, and in the craft houses. 

It had always been my dream to be a camp counselor, especially at a Girl Scout Camp. The counselors were always full of energy. They were bright, intelligent, and working towards goals and pursuits when they weren’t at camp. Several of my coworkers are now scientists, peace corp volunteers, running their own camps, and more. In a way, it always felt like I had the opportunity to work with the next great female leaders of our age. 

Many of them were idols of mine at that impressionable age. 

At the time, Twilight, The Mortal Instruments, The Hunger Games, and Divergent Series were the main books with female leads. I had read others, such as Graceling, Piratica, and more, with female leads. Still, the female lead always seems to be on her own without a strong supporting female cast. 

I wondered what it would take to write a book showcasing a strong female lead with strong, healthy female friendships like those I experienced in real life. The idea rolled around in my head for most of the summer till near the end. In my mind’s eye, I could see the character I wanted and the relationships I wanted her to have, so I wrote a quick fight scene. Nothing fancy an idea. A draft. The only name that came to mind for the character was Cammy. A nickname for my name and the name of one of my coworkers who was previously one of my camp counselors herself. 

For days, I carefully held onto this notebook with this idea until I accidentally left it in the camp director’s office one day. 

Truthfully I was too afraid someone had opened it and read it. To acknowledge it was mine. Although to be fair, my handwriting isn’t the greatest, so it might be distinctive. In any case, I was too uncomfortable and not ready to explain it to go back or search for it. 

I started working and adding story parts to it over the next year. Mostly half-heartedly and in my spare time. 

Then came the annual holiday season reunion just around the beginning of January. I was able to make it that year and was super excited. 

We’re sitting in a circle in one of the larger rooms to fit everyone. We’re telling stories of the most awkward moments we have had during the past summers. It’s always nice to laugh about things after some space. The counselor, whose name is a common nickname for mine. Begins to tell the tale of the notebook she found with the scene in it. As she tells the story, I recognize it as the scene I left behind. 

Mortification is the tame version of my internal struggle. Especially when she read it as creepy fan fiction. 

I never confessed to being the author to anyone I knew in that room. We’ve all since lost touch. But I finally found that motivation to finish the manuscript and look at it a little more seriously. 

So as I go back through the manuscript, the one thing I try to keep in mind beyond normal story plotting is the strong female friendships. With the caveat that knowing everything about a person simply isn’t possible at the end of the day. Even the best of friends can be embarrassed to share a personal dream.